How To: Long-Distance Relationship

As a person who likes to keep the ones I love close, I had never thought I would find myself in a long-distance relationship. This, however, has now ended up being the reality. I do not only live in another city than my beloved boyfriend, but in another country. In the summer of 2016 I left Denmark to live in England for a year, which we both, my partner and I, saw as a thing that would test our relationship to the limits and we wondered whether our relationship would make it. There was, of course, the opportunity of us falling apart being away from each other that long, but we also saw a great opportunity for it making us stronger as a couple.

So far, we have made it eight months, and I feel lucky to say that being away from each other has only strengthened us as a couple, and whenever we are together, we feel better than ever. This sure not happen to every couple in a long-distance relationship, but it is sure worth a shot instead of pausing an otherwise good partnership if one leaves the country – or the city for that matter. Below I have listed the things I have felt have helping us to being the power couple I feel like we are today – despite the distance.

  •  Talk as often as you can! This is an absolute must when living away from each other! There is no worse for the relationship than cutting the connections completely! Of course, you both have lots to do in your separate places, but, as many before me have said, relationships are not something you have time to, they are something you make time to.
  • Create similar situations when you talk on platforms like Skype. My boyfriend and I are lucky to have only an hour’s time difference, and this will most likely be a bit harder for people living with more hours between them. But making similar situations, like both lying in bed or both eating, tricks your brain to think the two of you are closer than you really are, so it is definitely worth a try.
  • Tell him/her about your thoughts and feelings. Just as it is important for a couple living together shares thoughts about things like not putting the toilet seat back down, it is important that long distance couple shares whatever they have on heart. In the beginning, I tended to paint everything pink and acted like my life away was a dance on roses, just to make my boyfriend happy. I really liked, and still do, my life away indeed, but I had a lot of things and thoughts that bothered me as well, and who can you tell if not your closest one? So, I decided to open up and tell him about my worries – and oh wow, surprise, he had some too to share – which lead us back to complete honesty which for me also is of great importance when living away from each other.
  • Talk not only seriously, but also about all the fun stuff happening. In connection with the bullet point above, bring your girlfriend/boyfriend into your everyday life instead of having them away not only distance wise, but also emotionally! Tell about the funny thing that happened in class today and how you stepped in a dog poop, whatever – just like you would over the dinner table when you are together.
  • Plan ahead! Make sure you have something to look forward to together. Make a countdown for the day you will see each other next time, the day you are together again for good, plan a weekend away, plan a holiday. This has truly helped us a couple – that we have something to be excited for together.
  • Do something together – apart. This might sound strange, but I really think it helps the relationship to do something “together” even though you are two different places in the world. Beside creating similar eating situations and like, like mentioned earlier, we try to watch a series together or put on a movie in our separate rooms at the same time, and then talk over Skype or text while we watch it. A great way to be together without really being together!
To sum up, I think it is important to create a relaxed atmosphere, and that you tell each other everything big and small you experience in your everyday life. Additionally, let them not only listen, but also react to what you say, just like you would do if you were together. Being in a long-distance relationship often take up a bit more time, and sometime a bit of planning, but making even the slightest effort will make a bit difference! Surely it is worth a shot!
Take care!
Emma xx

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